Arsenal FC Jokes
A is for Arse, a team that's truly awful
B is for Boring, boring boring Arsen*l
C is for Corruption, bung and all
D is for Donkey, who can't kick a ball
E is for Endsleigh, that's where they belong
F is for Fine, they'll be paying another before long
G is for Graham, the most successful chief
H is for Ha Ha Ha, he was really a thief
I is for Incidents, in a past they can't bury
J is for Jensen, who didn't score too many
K is for Kill, that's what they do to the game
L is for Laugh, when they bring it into shame
M is for Merson, who sniffed up a line
N is for Nayim, from the half way line
O is for Offside, their favourite tactic
P is for Paris, and we were ecstatique
Q is for Quick, get past the back four
R is for Rubbish, 'cos they're really that poor
S is for Sunday, in April '91
T is for Tottenham, who beat the scum 3-1
U is for Ugly, so much of it, it should really be in a bank
W is for Wank, Ian Wank, Wank, Wank
Y is for Why, are they such a big bore
Z is for Zero, 'cos that's all that they score
Q. How long has Tony Adams played for Arsen*l?
A. Donkeys years.
Q. How many Arsen*l players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.
Heard the one about David Seaman? He never keeps a clean sheet.
When Gazza scored at Wembley, Seaman was all over the place.
Q. What's the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsen*l team?
A. One takes dope and the rest are dopes.
Q. What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A. Their both red and white and full of coke.
Q. Why is the pitch at Highb*ry so green?
A. Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.
B is for Boring, boring boring Arsen*l
C is for Corruption, bung and all
D is for Donkey, who can't kick a ball
E is for Endsleigh, that's where they belong
F is for Fine, they'll be paying another before long
G is for Graham, the most successful chief
H is for Ha Ha Ha, he was really a thief
I is for Incidents, in a past they can't bury
J is for Jensen, who didn't score too many
K is for Kill, that's what they do to the game
L is for Laugh, when they bring it into shame
M is for Merson, who sniffed up a line
N is for Nayim, from the half way line
O is for Offside, their favourite tactic
P is for Paris, and we were ecstatique
Q is for Quick, get past the back four
R is for Rubbish, 'cos they're really that poor
S is for Sunday, in April '91
T is for Tottenham, who beat the scum 3-1
U is for Ugly, so much of it, it should really be in a bank
W is for Wank, Ian Wank, Wank, Wank
Y is for Why, are they such a big bore
Z is for Zero, 'cos that's all that they score
Q. How long has Tony Adams played for Arsen*l?
A. Donkeys years.
Q. How many Arsen*l players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.
Heard the one about David Seaman? He never keeps a clean sheet.
When Gazza scored at Wembley, Seaman was all over the place.
Q. What's the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsen*l team?
A. One takes dope and the rest are dopes.
Q. What have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?
A. Their both red and white and full of coke.
Q. Why is the pitch at Highb*ry so green?
A. Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.