Real Madrid Jokes
Cristiano Ronaldo has claimed that he’s ‘rich, handsome and a total codpiece’ following jeering from fans received earlier this week in the Champions League. The Portuguese plasticine model took time away from looking in a mirror to tell journalists his abs were like ‘mountains of awesomeness’ and that his dress code was ’sent from the heavens by the fashion police to enlighten.’
In difficult times globally, it’s good to see Ronaldo focusing on the key issues. You know, the important things in life?:
Neymar’s hair looks ridiculous the DA revealed last night, after studying several images in which the Brazilian star looks like a complete and utter pillock. The style is modelled on Sonic the Hedgehog being struck by lightning and is shaven round the back and sides to enhance wind resistance and t**t comparisons. A spokesman for the site said ‘I have never seen a hairdresser make such a balls up of one man’s head.’
Real Madrid are telling Miss, it’s been reported, after Barcelona pulled away their chair and called them a rude word their brother taught them yesterday. The squabble is likely to see both sides banned from the lunchroom and forced to sit out of playtime for at least a week. Neither party has yet to make an official comment on the incident but Madrid boss Jose Mourinho did publicly call his Barca counterparts a ‘big tell tale tit’.
Barcelona and Real Madrid are expected to escalate things quickly next week after confirming that football has absolutely no part to play in their Champions League semi final encounter. Last night’s street brawl at the Bernabeu was only ended after a reluctance to chip in and keep the floodlights powered, whilst Madrid boss Jose Mourinho stoked the flames by telling Barca chief Pep Guardiola and his players ‘como estan bitches’.
Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp could not hide his delight last night after Real Madrid fell into the carefully thought out booby trap of establishing a comfortable 4-0 lead and gaining a false sense of security ahead of the second leg set for White Hart Lane in a week’s time. Spurs, who went into the game as the first side in Champions League history to take on Madrid without any real defenders now claim the home tie should be an absolute walk in the park; such was the Spanish side’s naivety to fall in line with Tottenham’s plan.
A man who has spent over sixty years living under an enormous rock in his back garden, has told reporters he was absolutely gobsmacked to learn that powerful men supposedly take bribes and that Barcelona are apparently a very, very good football team. Luvagood Crag, a former landscaper from North Wiltshire, told gathering journalists he’d just stepped out of his rock face to empty the bedpan only to spot the television ‘in colour!’ blaring out in the living
In difficult times globally, it’s good to see Ronaldo focusing on the key issues. You know, the important things in life?:
Neymar’s hair looks ridiculous the DA revealed last night, after studying several images in which the Brazilian star looks like a complete and utter pillock. The style is modelled on Sonic the Hedgehog being struck by lightning and is shaven round the back and sides to enhance wind resistance and t**t comparisons. A spokesman for the site said ‘I have never seen a hairdresser make such a balls up of one man’s head.’
Real Madrid are telling Miss, it’s been reported, after Barcelona pulled away their chair and called them a rude word their brother taught them yesterday. The squabble is likely to see both sides banned from the lunchroom and forced to sit out of playtime for at least a week. Neither party has yet to make an official comment on the incident but Madrid boss Jose Mourinho did publicly call his Barca counterparts a ‘big tell tale tit’.
Barcelona and Real Madrid are expected to escalate things quickly next week after confirming that football has absolutely no part to play in their Champions League semi final encounter. Last night’s street brawl at the Bernabeu was only ended after a reluctance to chip in and keep the floodlights powered, whilst Madrid boss Jose Mourinho stoked the flames by telling Barca chief Pep Guardiola and his players ‘como estan bitches’.
Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp could not hide his delight last night after Real Madrid fell into the carefully thought out booby trap of establishing a comfortable 4-0 lead and gaining a false sense of security ahead of the second leg set for White Hart Lane in a week’s time. Spurs, who went into the game as the first side in Champions League history to take on Madrid without any real defenders now claim the home tie should be an absolute walk in the park; such was the Spanish side’s naivety to fall in line with Tottenham’s plan.
A man who has spent over sixty years living under an enormous rock in his back garden, has told reporters he was absolutely gobsmacked to learn that powerful men supposedly take bribes and that Barcelona are apparently a very, very good football team. Luvagood Crag, a former landscaper from North Wiltshire, told gathering journalists he’d just stepped out of his rock face to empty the bedpan only to spot the television ‘in colour!’ blaring out in the living