Aston Villa Jokes
After a long, record breaking career of being unbelievably s***, Aston Villa defender Richard Dunne has finally agreed to learn how to kick a ball forwards after manager Alex Mcleish warned him that failure to take up the training might result in his axing. The Republic of Ireland international broke his own best last night after firing in his centurion own goal to cost Villa a crucial 3 points and the former Blackpool beach donkey said enough was enough.
Alex Mcleish has reassured Aston Villa fans that everything is going to be just fine, as soon as he can have all of his favourite Birmingham players join him at Villa Park and get rid of all that ‘Aston Villa rubbish.’ The Scotsman, who is to be announced as the new boss of the Premier League side today, has vowed to maintain the history and tradition of the side, so long as the future can involve Scott Dann and Seb Larsson, two players who should be popular with the Villa faithful, after helping rivals Birmingham sink into the Championship.
A shipment of hastily prepared Alex McLeish dartboards made in China are being stored in Dover today awaiting the imminent order from central Birmingham. The former Scottish boss, who relegated second city Birmingham from the Premier League looks set to shun the loyalty shown in him by City bosses and take over at arch rivals Aston Villa, a move which many experts say will result in the Carling Cup winner facing a fairly heavy commute guarded by ex navy seals
Aston Villa are to sensationally revolutionize the world of football management next season after confirming that they are to adopt a regular, well known weekly guest to run the football club. After being linked with anyone who has ever worn a suit and turned up at a game Villa chairman Randy Lerner took the decision to trial the new system and will kick off the season with a home tie managed by Jedward followed by an away trip hosted by TV funny man Jack Dee.
The DA can exclusively bring you the details of Fulham manager Mark Hughes’ resignation letter in stunning HD:
Dear Mohammed
Well I never. What a season ey? All that playing fairly and that, marching onto Channel 5 screens everywhere next season and a top half finish to boot. You just couldn’t make it up! (And if you could you’d probably make it just a tad better…Maybe a trophy or something…Perhaps a real European competition…I’m rambling).
Four unemployed Premier League managers, who met whilst queuing at the Job Centre, are to group together and perform the Full Monty in a desperate bid to make some money. Roy Hodgson, Gerard Houllier, Avram Grant and Carlo Ancelotti were all waiting in line to sign on before ‘Hot Stuff’ by Donna Summer played over the radio causing Grant to spontaneously start grinding at the front of the queue.
Panorama narrowly avoided being the scapegoat of any losing World Cup bid last night, after Birmingham City decided to hold an ’80’s themed’ riot day at St Andrews just hours before FIFA’s big announcement. Fans were encouraged to bring their own flares and batons and every seat in the ground was set up with a note which read ‘you’re a t**t, Love Aston Villa x’ as part of a hooligan recruitment drive by the club.
Alex Mcleish has reassured Aston Villa fans that everything is going to be just fine, as soon as he can have all of his favourite Birmingham players join him at Villa Park and get rid of all that ‘Aston Villa rubbish.’ The Scotsman, who is to be announced as the new boss of the Premier League side today, has vowed to maintain the history and tradition of the side, so long as the future can involve Scott Dann and Seb Larsson, two players who should be popular with the Villa faithful, after helping rivals Birmingham sink into the Championship.
A shipment of hastily prepared Alex McLeish dartboards made in China are being stored in Dover today awaiting the imminent order from central Birmingham. The former Scottish boss, who relegated second city Birmingham from the Premier League looks set to shun the loyalty shown in him by City bosses and take over at arch rivals Aston Villa, a move which many experts say will result in the Carling Cup winner facing a fairly heavy commute guarded by ex navy seals
Aston Villa are to sensationally revolutionize the world of football management next season after confirming that they are to adopt a regular, well known weekly guest to run the football club. After being linked with anyone who has ever worn a suit and turned up at a game Villa chairman Randy Lerner took the decision to trial the new system and will kick off the season with a home tie managed by Jedward followed by an away trip hosted by TV funny man Jack Dee.
The DA can exclusively bring you the details of Fulham manager Mark Hughes’ resignation letter in stunning HD:
Dear Mohammed
Well I never. What a season ey? All that playing fairly and that, marching onto Channel 5 screens everywhere next season and a top half finish to boot. You just couldn’t make it up! (And if you could you’d probably make it just a tad better…Maybe a trophy or something…Perhaps a real European competition…I’m rambling).
Four unemployed Premier League managers, who met whilst queuing at the Job Centre, are to group together and perform the Full Monty in a desperate bid to make some money. Roy Hodgson, Gerard Houllier, Avram Grant and Carlo Ancelotti were all waiting in line to sign on before ‘Hot Stuff’ by Donna Summer played over the radio causing Grant to spontaneously start grinding at the front of the queue.
Panorama narrowly avoided being the scapegoat of any losing World Cup bid last night, after Birmingham City decided to hold an ’80’s themed’ riot day at St Andrews just hours before FIFA’s big announcement. Fans were encouraged to bring their own flares and batons and every seat in the ground was set up with a note which read ‘you’re a t**t, Love Aston Villa x’ as part of a hooligan recruitment drive by the club.